Deep Thoughts

I really couldn't get over with the whole love scene now.....

Everything seems so awkward

There is no longer the privilege to be so mesmerized about someone, dwell in it, feel butterflies and.....

Everything everyone thinks about now, is taking action, to get together....

It certainly isn't to blame, since you wouldn't have the certainty of seeing that someone every single other day, like in high school....

I can't tolerate the thought that I am 22...... There is so much out there, so much I couldn't be sure of....

On one hand, I felt unaccomplished, on the other, I know I had to go on

I miss the feeling of being in all that love drama, all the ups and downs....

Now, the only thing that comes up to mind, is being unwanted......

I've constantly wanted to improve myself, to be the best I possibly can be...

I always dream high, aim high.....

But one time after the other, I am struck by the passing boulders that seem so impossible to overcome....

Push on, I will get there, I told myself.....

I really wanted to thank some friends who made me realize, how pessimistic I am, at least in quite a few things...

I really felt it this instance, yet I couldn't help it, it's one thing that makes me feel alive, it's the one thing that makes me me.... It's my motto that I must improve, I must strive...

I felt the pressure of the world on me, yet no one could or would hold the key to release it all....

I simply wouldn't let them... I need to be the tough Alvin, I couldn't fall back, not this time, everytime..

Despite how much I missed the tangible kisses, hugs, I knew, the me now is not worthy of it, and that I need to be better......

Be Better...

How I wish I could really say "Let them look, stare, and talk all they want, I don't care!"

That's still not happening, not now, not ever.....

Australia

Yea, I've just landed in Australia in about 7 hours ago. To be honest, I was extremely astonished with the frequent rainbows in this land. Today itself, I probably saw 5-7, and 2 at the same time. It was so pretty I insisted the gal who was sitting beside me on the flight to seek a peep, I even offered to change seats with her since I was at the window seat. She kinda got shocked I guess.

I really would love to thank God that He has truly provided me with all that I need. He gave me a perfect farewell, a companion to talk to in the plane where all entertainment facilities were obsolete, a nice morning view of Australia's Gold Coast from bird's eye view, and also for welcoming friends who took the trouble to pick me up and walk me to the bank, cook me breakfast, and provide me with temporary accommodation.

Well, to be honest, I am still suffering from some form of jet lag and could hardly stir up the enthusiasm to do whatsoever. It's been a great day, and by far, Australia is great!!!!

Departure

Can't wait till the day I say goodbye.....
Starting anew, I've got lots of resolutions to accomplish...
Lots of crazy thoughts I feel like fulfilling
And it's another lap of life's journey to explore and discover

I want to make a difference,
I want to be at the forefront,
till I find you, till I find you....

God, through the times of pain and trial, You've walked me through, and all I ask Lord, is that in this new year, I would be more satisfied, more contented, and most importantly more friendly and loving.

I would love to meet lots of new people, and have the opportunity to understand them well.

All that I have in mind Lord might not be of righteousness, it might not be of Your will and Your way, but as I explore, please be sure to pull me back when I've gone too far off, for there is nothing more important than being in Your presence. But through the processes, would it be selfish if I ask for a little pleasure? You know best.... You know best!!

Here I am longing for You

Today I weep, I pray, that You would see my heart........

It would be all for nothing, if it wasn't for You.

All these months, I question my heart, and You know I do.

You know the reason why I refuse to play for you in worship, You will know the reason why.....

All is for Your glory God.

Please understand my heart.

Worship

Every time, when we walk through the church door and go to our seats, what are we expecting out of the service? Are you fulfilling the obligations of being a christian, socializing, passing time or giving God His moment?

It is sometimes difficult to get into the spirit of Worship, and I do understand it through experience. But, reminiscing the time I was in Thailand, and perhaps Sibu, something hit me. The hunger for God was at a total different level, the experience of seeing them cry out to God, with strong faith that it would make a difference, breaks my heart.

In Thailand, I remembered an experience where a Pastor was seriously facing problem in paying the fees for his church construction after feeling lead to start up one. He was in great distress. One of the days we were there, Pastor Somsak's wife spoke up to the congregation about his problem, yet didn't voice anything about the sum of money he needed. Through God's voice speaking to the people's heart, the offering collected was enough to cover all the expenses. They were poor people, and I mean really poor, farmers mostly, yet they made it, because it was God's plan, it was His will.

When worship sessions were conducted in the different places I went, it was obvious that the language used was different, yet that made a strong stir in my heart. For like we sing it, one day every knee will bow, every tongue will confess, that You are God, I felt that happening just in front of me. Worshiping in other language to the same God, the feeling you get from it is just indescribable.

At those moments, I felt sorry for that even though I understood all that I sing during worship sessions in church, I sometimes barely practice what I sang.

Worship is not about the words, it's about you, and God, and the good time praising Him with a thankful heart. Doing it without the words, without the understanding of what you're singing could often take us to a higher comprehension of what worship is about.

Praise You Lord, for every worship song that exists throughout the nations, it might sound different, yet, it's the same You, and that's great. One day all knees will bow, all tongues will confess, that You're God. May it be according to what You will. Amen

Love

If only I could love like You did Lord..........

Sorry......

手足

手足只的两个字，所以只有两个知
手足只的两个字，感觉点，只有你会知

Haha, have I found that person yet?

To me, it's an accomplishment in life to have one. 10 Things I wanna do before I die? Find one.