Hanging out with different group of friends often bring forth different feelings and emotions.
I kinda feel a little awkward in the group I was once very attached with, due to the changes in me and the perception of humor that kinda differed.
Getting accustom to a new tradition and culture takes time, how long would it take for me to adapt to the change that is coming ahead?
The way things were a few months back and now has also greatly varied..... And, most of the time, I am reluctant to believe those changes ever happened, and silently wishing that everything would return to normal.
God, take us further, give us the sensitivity to feel what others have in mind, and help us to think from their perspective. Help us to forgive and to silently wait upon Your directions in all relationships we partake in. Let our past fade with time, our present with no regrets, and future with hope. In Jesus Name, AMEN.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
My Change
Routine
Lately I found out that I am so not into a routine lifestyle. I like everything to be unpredictable, especially the adrenaline rush that comes forth in the midst of dealing with the unforeseen circumstances.
Love
I kinda have a different perspective of this term since who knows when. From the time I was dreaming to meet the perfect one, to have the perfect kiss, the perfect night, the perfect life together, until now that I crave companionship, a shoulder to lean upon, and someone to depend on when I tumble and break.
Friendship
Once upon a time, I remembered I had no close friends, even to the point that I believed it was non-existence. Although I might not have a heap of them now, but more than enough for me to feel contented. Simple things you all say can go so deep to touch my heart, but the downside? critics could also stab my heart like the prowess assassin ever. Pros outweighs the cons thou, since I know in every critic lies a room for improvement and enrichment!
Trivia words that touched my heart:
Nxxxx: Text when you're back!
Cxxx: Call me if you need a ride home, I am perfectly fine with it. (2.00 am)
Strength
Trying to depend on God more. FAITH man!
Lately I found out that I am so not into a routine lifestyle. I like everything to be unpredictable, especially the adrenaline rush that comes forth in the midst of dealing with the unforeseen circumstances.
Love
I kinda have a different perspective of this term since who knows when. From the time I was dreaming to meet the perfect one, to have the perfect kiss, the perfect night, the perfect life together, until now that I crave companionship, a shoulder to lean upon, and someone to depend on when I tumble and break.
Friendship
Once upon a time, I remembered I had no close friends, even to the point that I believed it was non-existence. Although I might not have a heap of them now, but more than enough for me to feel contented. Simple things you all say can go so deep to touch my heart, but the downside? critics could also stab my heart like the prowess assassin ever. Pros outweighs the cons thou, since I know in every critic lies a room for improvement and enrichment!
Trivia words that touched my heart:
Nxxxx: Text when you're back!
Cxxx: Call me if you need a ride home, I am perfectly fine with it. (2.00 am)
Strength
Trying to depend on God more. FAITH man!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Reminiscence
Trying hard not to think too much.
I am such an idiot sometimes. My mind is so often bombarded with unhappy circumstances purely created in my imaginary world.
Going to Queensland in like 6 months kinda gives me no time to slack around doing nothing. I feel like being with the bunch of dearly friends I have for as long as I could, even until the point I feel more homely being with them than elsewhere.
"it doesn't matter what you do, but who you do it with"
This is seemingly so true these days.
There are often conflicts and problems that bloated out of a sudden, of which many of times caused difficult feelings or even onerous worries, I enjoyed the entire process. Not that I like it, but the fact that I know that these are parts and parcels that constructs our memory together.
May all the good be with us LORD, help us through the difficulties we face, and teach us the art of friendship in an even more in-dept manner. In Jesus' Precious Name, AMEN.
I am such an idiot sometimes. My mind is so often bombarded with unhappy circumstances purely created in my imaginary world.
Going to Queensland in like 6 months kinda gives me no time to slack around doing nothing. I feel like being with the bunch of dearly friends I have for as long as I could, even until the point I feel more homely being with them than elsewhere.
"it doesn't matter what you do, but who you do it with"
This is seemingly so true these days.
There are often conflicts and problems that bloated out of a sudden, of which many of times caused difficult feelings or even onerous worries, I enjoyed the entire process. Not that I like it, but the fact that I know that these are parts and parcels that constructs our memory together.
May all the good be with us LORD, help us through the difficulties we face, and teach us the art of friendship in an even more in-dept manner. In Jesus' Precious Name, AMEN.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Regrets
At this moment of life, I am feeling super regretful of the decisions I've made.
Stupid, persistent ones to make my life more miserable than it already is.
Thank goodness I am leaving Malaysia soon, I need a break from all these nonsense, I need a new fresh life to explore, and not to be told what I should or should not do, what I am and what I am not, what I am suppose to be and what I am not suppose to be.
Seriously, peace OFF!
The only thing I am concern about is in what light God sees me, anyone else, please try to refrain from judging or assuming me on irrelevant matters. If it's necessary for the good of the majority, spit it out, other wise, just kindly STOP. I have more issues to be concern about than being bothered my whole entire time about what you think.
And the fact that I can hardly control myself from not taking it personally, please just don't say what a normal nice guy wouldn't say and we might just be friends.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Stupid, persistent ones to make my life more miserable than it already is.
Thank goodness I am leaving Malaysia soon, I need a break from all these nonsense, I need a new fresh life to explore, and not to be told what I should or should not do, what I am and what I am not, what I am suppose to be and what I am not suppose to be.
Seriously, peace OFF!
The only thing I am concern about is in what light God sees me, anyone else, please try to refrain from judging or assuming me on irrelevant matters. If it's necessary for the good of the majority, spit it out, other wise, just kindly STOP. I have more issues to be concern about than being bothered my whole entire time about what you think.
And the fact that I can hardly control myself from not taking it personally, please just don't say what a normal nice guy wouldn't say and we might just be friends.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Monday, July 26, 2010
Testimony
To me, testimonies are wonderful, they are just a piece of master art.
Like seriously, how can you not like hearing one's experience with God?
Thanks to my friend Mr. Chiun, I watched a youtubed testimony of Pastor Jaeson Ma, and it was awesome. I cried like a baby, cause I knew that perseverance and faith would lead you to the eternal treasures God has promised.
Despite Your past, God loves You.
There was one verse I took down,
Nothing you do can make God love you more, yet nothing you do not do will make God love you less.
That's love man. That's love.
And that's all that you need.
Like seriously, how can you not like hearing one's experience with God?
Thanks to my friend Mr. Chiun, I watched a youtubed testimony of Pastor Jaeson Ma, and it was awesome. I cried like a baby, cause I knew that perseverance and faith would lead you to the eternal treasures God has promised.
Despite Your past, God loves You.
There was one verse I took down,
Nothing you do can make God love you more, yet nothing you do not do will make God love you less.
That's love man. That's love.
And that's all that you need.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Lost
I don't know since when and why I started feeling this.....
I don't know when I could get over it........
I don't know who caused it.......
But I know, I am not joyous now, neither sad thou.
The only time I can find complete contentment is when I am with You, when I worship You....
During this time, I feel wanted, I feel tightly held, I do not feel like I need to keep striving for approval, keep striving towards the seemingly unachievable worldly standards.
You made me who I am Lord, and You know what's best for me.
And from experience, I know much patience and endurance is required....
Lead me Lord, far from the old me, I desperately need a change, and more importantly I need You.
I am afraid Lord, I am..... Just worried that someday I would not have the strength to carry on.
Every step I take Lord, I pray it would take me closer to You.
I pray that all that struggle I am going through right now Lord, would lead me to the cross, to the eternal treasures You've promised.
And from experience once again, I have faith that it is true.
Please try to go a little easier on me, I am feeling fragile, and I know I would break, anytime....
Send me angels Lord, angels that understands me inside out, who speak faith and courage into my soul, who would willingly be my sword, and my shield, and everything I need to fight the battle... Angels who would lift me and prevent me from falling from the cliff of life.
All this I ask in Jesus Name, Amen.
I don't know when I could get over it........
I don't know who caused it.......
But I know, I am not joyous now, neither sad thou.
The only time I can find complete contentment is when I am with You, when I worship You....
During this time, I feel wanted, I feel tightly held, I do not feel like I need to keep striving for approval, keep striving towards the seemingly unachievable worldly standards.
You made me who I am Lord, and You know what's best for me.
And from experience, I know much patience and endurance is required....
Lead me Lord, far from the old me, I desperately need a change, and more importantly I need You.
I am afraid Lord, I am..... Just worried that someday I would not have the strength to carry on.
Every step I take Lord, I pray it would take me closer to You.
I pray that all that struggle I am going through right now Lord, would lead me to the cross, to the eternal treasures You've promised.
And from experience once again, I have faith that it is true.
Please try to go a little easier on me, I am feeling fragile, and I know I would break, anytime....
Send me angels Lord, angels that understands me inside out, who speak faith and courage into my soul, who would willingly be my sword, and my shield, and everything I need to fight the battle... Angels who would lift me and prevent me from falling from the cliff of life.
All this I ask in Jesus Name, Amen.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Mysteries
Looking back at the past few weeks of my life, all I could see was problems one after the other. Many of times, they are well forgotten on purpose- the so called escape plan, and the rare occasions where they aren't, simply destroys the accustomed routine of our lives.
While most of the problems are claimed to be triggered through the series of events happening with unpredictably fast pace, some are rather internally created, either intended or not.
21 years living on this planet has given me more than my intelligence could comprehend. While being involved in much relationships, I didn't seem to have a slight pinch of understanding about the underlying mechanics. At the same time of often being the consultant, I myself need answers, of which I didn't know where to seek from.
Many might think I am experiencing a hard time with sweat and tears, but I can sincerely assure you that it is not the case. Instead of terming it difficult moments, I would rather quote the simple word confusion. I am pretty confused, not by what I am seeing, or feeling, but rather the way people react to the things they are seeing and feeling. At one point I thought I knew what was the norm or regular course of action, but now, it rather felt like I've been confused all these while.
Not that I am liking it, but it seemed that an interesting picture lies ahead. I guess I would need to just wait for the doors to be unlocked one by one, and see for myself, if the ending will be as good as expected.
While most of the problems are claimed to be triggered through the series of events happening with unpredictably fast pace, some are rather internally created, either intended or not.
21 years living on this planet has given me more than my intelligence could comprehend. While being involved in much relationships, I didn't seem to have a slight pinch of understanding about the underlying mechanics. At the same time of often being the consultant, I myself need answers, of which I didn't know where to seek from.
Many might think I am experiencing a hard time with sweat and tears, but I can sincerely assure you that it is not the case. Instead of terming it difficult moments, I would rather quote the simple word confusion. I am pretty confused, not by what I am seeing, or feeling, but rather the way people react to the things they are seeing and feeling. At one point I thought I knew what was the norm or regular course of action, but now, it rather felt like I've been confused all these while.
Not that I am liking it, but it seemed that an interesting picture lies ahead. I guess I would need to just wait for the doors to be unlocked one by one, and see for myself, if the ending will be as good as expected.
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